Three Weeks

Twenty one days. That, apparently, is my limit for daily blogging. September being a month of new beginnings, I thought it would be appropriate to attempt to establish some habits. What can I say? I'm a goal setter

As the September days wore on, and I started resorting to telling old stories, I discovered the reason behind my general inability to generate blog fodder on a daily basis. I lead a pretty dull life. I'm not bored, by any means, but the whole send-kids-to-school,-go-to-the-library,-fold-laundry,-what's-for-dinner storyline isn't all that interesting to write, or to read. It's not like I'm raising chickens. Now that's fascinating stuff, so c'mon Pheobe and Laura, gimme the goods.

What's next? Funny you should ask. In the interest of generating blog fodder, I'm ready to conduct an experiment of my own. It involves you, my readers. All eight of you. I invite you to give me something to do. It could be anything you want, except go on a road trip. I'm all road tripped out for awhile. (FYI, anything over 2 1/2 hours is a road trip.) I'll do it. And I'll write about it. Maybe even photograph it.

I guess saying "it could be anything you want" is a little misleading. I'm not going to start raising chickens or mooing in the middle of Yoga or selling Mary Kay because you suggested I do so. But I might, I don't know, try a new restaurant, or something like that. See? I am boring. I can't think of anything to do that would be worth writing about. Maybe there is something you have always wanted to try and you want me to do it first. Or maybe there is something you just wish I would do, like get some of your photos to you before pigs start flying.

I won't compromise my morals and I won't be mean to anyone. On purpose. (Today the girl who made the better than sex cake for that funeral told me she had read my blog. I feel really dumb. I hope it wasn't mean to write about it. She didn't divulge her opinion about the originator of the cake's name, and you'd better believe I didn't ask.)

So welcome to my own personal game of Truth or Dare. Challenge me and give me something to say.

Or don't. Whatever.

Thanks for reading.

21

On the topic of awkward conversations:

Have you had this cake that's been making the rounds of church functions and school picnics for a few years?

It's a cake from a box drizzled with sweetened condensed milk frosted with cool whip and topped with heath bar.

I like sweetened condensed milk and I love finding good uses for a heath bar, but you lost me at box cake and cool whip. Give me heavy whipping cream or give me nothing!

Someone had the audacity to name this cake "Better than Sex Cake."

Seriously? I mean, seriously?

{cut to this scene from awhile back:}

I'm in the church gym just after a funeral service and my bishop (a.k.a. ecclesiastical leader, spiritual guide for you muggles. Ha! As if anyone reads this who either a: isn't related to me or b: doesn't go to church with me or c: isn't Sissy) so he comes up to me while I'm dishing myself up a big piece of this cake, which I'm making fun of here, but I'm not going to deny myself a slice when it's being served at a funeral mostly because, hey! it's cake! and I say to him (and here's the climax of my story) "Boy, I feel bad for the poor woman who named this cake!"

My cake tasted a lot like foot that day, but for goodness' sake, I certainly hope you have had the same thought.

And now for the denouement:

I saw Easy A tonight. I LOVED IT! One of my mom's catch phrases when we were young was "ooooh, let's not and say we did." It reminded me of Gilmore Girls and Mean Girls and I'm now ready to have all the girls over to watch Say Anything and Sixteen Candles.

I think I'll stick with Tres Leches cake for refreshments, though.

20

Today is Monday.

Can't trust that day.

I woke up with two new zits. One of them was right on the edge of my lip. You know the spot. That spot where it is super painful to have a zit.

On the plus side, I had a pretty good hair day.

The only housework I did today was to load the breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. I'm a lousy housekeeper. "and Ann B. Davis as Alice."

The morning was spent taking King George to various activities; Mommy and Me Music at a local church and Mother Goose time at the library. He's warming up to the experience. Music time was in a large gym, and we were told in no uncertain terms that it is against the rules to run around in there.

It's hard to stop a two year old from running around a wide open space.








Sara is coming in January! Hooray! I need to call my mom and get her to come for one of the weekends. We are already thinking about Nan's Nummies brownies.

Ugh. Sara's not coming until January. She will be my ray of sunshine to brighten a bleak, cold winter.

Stella has moved up to the barre in ballet.








The door stays open for the first half of class, so we can watch if we want.

I left my book (the one I stayed up until 4 a.m. reading on Saturday night) at the ballet school.

Also, she now needs a black leotard.









Right now Sara is comparing her career as a ballerina to Stella's. In her mind she is comparing an old photo of herself in ballet class to these photos of the Princess.

And that was Monday.

Thanks for reading!

19

The one where I bear my soul.

or

I may have ADD.

or

This is what my list looks like today.

1. Hike Havasu Pi with my family

2. Finish school

3. Complete a marathon, eh, or not

4. Have a thoughtfully decorated home

5. Put pen to paper and write My Story

6. Pay off Robert's student loan debts

7. Make myself useful

8. Maintain a compost heap complete with red wrigglers and kitchen scraps

9. Learn to quilt/finish a quilt

10. Convince Sara that we should have a "Sisters Weekend" tradition

11. Achieve fluency in a foreign language

12. Celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary

13. Canoe the Boundary Waters with my family

14. Learn to play an instrument

15. Take singing lessons

16. Become SCUBA certified

17. Witness a solar eclipse

18. Go to Macchu Picchu, Peru

19. Visit the Coliseum in Rome

20. Visit all 49 of the 50 United States, I'm not sure I need to see Alabama

21. Visit all 7 continents

22. Beat someone (anyone!) at Chess

23. Participate in building a Habitat for Humanity home

34. Establish a scholarship fund for students with families

35. Use my reusable grocery sacks

36. Drive less/walk and bike more

37. Have bidets in my home

38. Value people and experiences more than things

39. Make a documentary film

40. Learn a language other than English

41. Inspire others

42. Six pack abs, defined calves

43. Find the perfect shade of lipstick

44. After I've done #42, sit on a beach somewhere, sipping a drink with a little umbrella.

45. Send out Christmas Cards

Robert is sitting next to me and looking over my shoulder. He offered to help me with #7, and told me to go get him a soda. He's so thoughtful.

What does your list look like?

18

The Butterfly Bush has been earning its keep. Walking up to my front door in the afternoon, I feel like I live in an enchanted cottage in the woods.

I wish I knew the right tune to sing to motivate the woodland creatures to help me with my housework, because "Somebody get in here and clean up this mess!" doesn't seem to be working. Neither does "So help me, if I have to pick up four kids' soaking wet clothes off the bathroom floor one more time, I'm going to LOSE IT!"

I don't actually yell at them. It's fun to pretend I'm a shrill and angry mother for dramatic effect.

17

Other stops on our Tour of D.C., which I photographed on my phone, included:

The National Museum of Health and Medicine, located way off the beaten path on the grounds of the Walter Reed Army Medical Center. I thought it was totally worth the 30 minute bus ride we took to get there.

That sounded a bit sarcastic, but I was sincere. The NMHM was unlike any other place we went in D.C.

Jack holding a plastinated human heart

Stella holding a plastinated human brain

Look closely, this is a bezoar that was removed from a young girl who ate her hair. A few days after we saw this, Stella announced "Mom, since we saw that bezoar I have not chewed on my hair even once."

Pictured behind the kids in this photo is a megacolon. It was removed from a man in his early twenties whose chief complaint was chronic constipation. I love my metamucil.

The National Geographic museum had an amazing exhibit about Leonardo DaVinci. They had taken sketches and plans from his journals and built his machines. Many of them were things we were allowed to operate.

Chinatown.

This is $1,000,000 in ten dollar notes.

Museum of Natural History

We were lucky to have my dad's wife, Nana Sue, join us during the first two days of our trip. We bought tickets to tour the city on the double decker bus during those two days and after that we took the subway all over town. We had a great time!

Come to think of it, we have Nana Sue to thank for our recent obsession with squid legs and Thai Food.

Mmmm.

16

By the time we made it to Washington D.C. in July, we had paid more than $60 in tolls, we had driven for more than 20 hours, and we had listened to Jim Dale tell us the tale of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.

The Pennsylvania Turnpike is expensive! It only costs me, like, $1.80 in tolls to drive to Chicago. Sheesh.

Dad spent all day (from 7am to 6:30pm) every day at the Ritz Carlton for his training course.

In temperatures above 100 degrees, the kids and I took advantage of that time to get out and explore our nation's capital.

Rattling around inside my brain is an abundance of advice about traveling with children. Some day all of that advice may organize itself into a blog entry.

For now, I just have the pictures to prove we were there.

Jack finds the name of Lolo's fallen comrade, James C. Marshall, at The Wall.

Outside the Supreme Court

Riding the Circulator around town.

Hanging out at Union Station

Union Station

I know that a few of these photos could have been taken anywhere, but we really were in D.C. when I took them. D.C., as I said earlier, is also where we discovered our love of Thai food.

Here are the fried squid legs my kids couldn't get enough of.

What? Don't your kids beg you to take them out for fried squid legs every. single. night. when you are on vacation? No? Hmm. That's weird.

We saw so many other things while we were there:

Smithsonian Air and Space Museum

The Mayflower Hotel

Marine Corps Memorial

Lincoln Memorial

Library of Congress, Children's Reading Room

Maybe tomorrow I will post a few more shots from my phone. I didn't always lug the big camera around with me.

I recommend taking your kids to see the Capital City. I don't however, recommend sending them as Tributes!

15

When water gets in your fertilizer, making it unspreadable, you improvise!

Fourteen

Tres Leches cake for dessert





Oh you really should have had some. It was delicious. If you are inclined to make one, I suggest Pioneer Woman's recipe.

I think I'd better cut back on my cake consumption. Stella just asked me if I was pregnant, because my belly is so big.

Thirteen

George loves waving the kids off to school. "Bye guys! Bye guys! Have good day!"


After they are gone, we settle in for some snuggly reading time.


Yesterday he attended his very first library class. I use the library classes to fool the kids into thinking they go to preschool. He was not impressed by the lady or her puppets. He spent the half hour class slumped against me, refusing to participate. Maybe he'll be the one kid that doesn't beg to go to the after school day care when he starts Kindygarten.

Do your kids do that?

After school they are greeted by a mother with arms open wide rejoicing at their return. I exclaim things like "Hooray! You're home! I missed you so much!" (Whether I missed them or not.) Many days I even have, don't laugh, warm cookies and milk waiting for them. Yet all three of them ask me to sign them up for the after school day care programs.

Sometimes I wonder if stay-at-home mothering is really worth the sacrifice.

On Sunday afternoon, the discussion turned to levels of education.

"Dad," Creed asked, "did you finish college?"

"Yeah, Creed. I finished. You attended my graduation."

"Oh yeah! Mom didn't finish, though," Creed continued, smiling at me.

Robert, aware of my feelings on that particular subject, replied, "Rude, Creed. Mom doesn't need you pointing out that she didn't finish college. Yet." Sensitivity to others' feeling is something we are continually working on with Creed.

His face fell and he ran into his room, crying and sobbing.

No matter how strong my sense of longing to finish school is, it is not worth Creed being upset. Of course, Robert followed him into his bedroom.

Moments later, Robert emerged from his talk with our second son a little misty eyed. "You know what he said to me, Liz? He said 'I was just thinking that mom didn't go to school so that she could always be here with us, and I'm glad she didn't go to school. I like being with mom all the time. Other kids have to go to babysitters, and we don't.'"

Well, okay then.

Twelve

Omaha Zoo Two Weeks Ago

Not pictured: George and Robert.

The male gorilla decided he didn't care for Stella, so he charged the glass where she was standing. It scared the living daylights out of me and it was so loud when he banged on that glass that the whole Primate House went silent for a moment. One minute my baby girl was standing there staring at the baby gorilla and his mama, the next minute she was screaming in terror and reaching for her own mama.

I'm grateful the only wild creatures that attack my kids are, well, each other.

Eleven

It's easy to write about the things I eat.

Pad Thai from Nut Pob last night:

You should have seen the daggers that shot out of Jackie's eyes when our server told her they were out of peanut sauce for her satay. It was hilarious. The conversation went something like this:
Cute little Laotian/Thai Server who looked like she was about 14 years old, but could have been anywhere between 18 and 52 (damn Asian genetics): I'm sorry ma'am, but we just ran out of peanut sauce.
Jackie (without breaking eye contact):Nope. Uh uh. That's not possible. You cannot be serious.
(Then she turned purple and everyone at the table sucked air in collectively. Because She. Was. Pissed.)
Server (looking down at her hands, afraid to make eye contact):I'm sorry, we are out.
Jackie (as if saying it out loud would make it true):No you're not. That's just not possible.
Server:(Scurries away, mumbling.)
Jackie (hollering after her):This is a Restaurant. When you Run Out Of Something, you MAKE MORE!
She really wanted that peanut sauce.
At this point, I was falling out of my chair leaning away from her trying not to get stung by the daggers she was throwing from her eyes. I tentatively suggested that we could leave and eat someplace else. We were discussing our options when the cute little server returned and announced:
I'm sorry. We have sauce. They just brought in some more.
and the beast inside Jackie was soothed and I decided that maybe I should start saying things out loud like
"I can eat that and actually lose weight.""All the kids' beds will be made this morning.""The laundry will fold itself today.""I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog-gonnit, people like me."
The peanut sauce was fantastic.*

It's fun to order Sticky Rice in a restaurant. It comes in its own individual basket, steamed and stickified just for you.

Make sure your hands are clean before you dig in!

Get in touch with your inner play doh child by rolling it into a little ball in the palms of your hands.

Dip the ball in some Angry Chicken or Ginger Pork. Nut Pob doesn't have Massaman Curry on their menu, or else that's what I would have dipped mine in.

And enjoy!

The last time I ate rice like this, I was in the Philippines in my swimsuit using a banana leaf as a plate. Did you know that I used to be an international traveller? Ah, those were the days.

(Are you getting sick of bad photos from my phone yet? They are just so convenient!)
*This story was told with Jackie's permission with the caveat that parts may have been embellished. The only part that I embellished, though, was the part where she yelled after the server. She just said it to those of us at the table in a Very Loud Voice.

Ten(a)

Puffed Oven Pancake Recipe (For Mae)

EASY!

3 eggs

1/2 cup flour

1/2 cup milk

2T butter

pinch salt

Oven: 425

Put the butter in your pan (for this recipe, an 8x8 square or 8 or 9 inch round) and melt it in the oven while you mix the rest of the ingredients in a bowl. Remove the pan with the melted butter and swirl the butter to coat the bottom of the pan. Pour the batter into the pan and place in the oven. Bake 20-25 minutes until golden and puffy. Serve immediately.

The recipe was doubled for the puffed oven pancake in this photo.

Ten

She chose this ensemble herself from head to toe. Oh, who am i kidding? She picks out her own clothes every day. She has begun to phase me out and she's only six.


The front of the jacket is ALL SEQUINS. I am in awe/envy of her confidence.

Nine

One of my favorite double standards: keeping sugar cereals out of our regular diet, but serving puffed oven pancakes with butter syrup for breakfast.












This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the question "What is Liz's belly made of?"

Eight

Wednesday nights are messing with bedtime. How am I supposed to enforce a 7:30 bedtime when my Boy Scout doesn't get home until 8:20?

9:00 p.m. snapshots:



















Stella and Robert get gold stars. He's cleaning up dinner, which we ate at 5:00. Her hair is going to look awesome in the morning. I'm hoping to stay awake till the end of The Bicycle Thief.