Advent(ures) By Candlelight

On any given night this December, it would have been easy to catch our family gathered around open flames and reading Christmas themed books.

I had the bright idea that we should wrap all of our Christmas books in festive wrapping and give the honor of selecting which one to open and read by candlelight to a different child every night.
We have coupled our literary adventures with hot cocoa and when it's too hot to handle, we sip it through a straw.
One night, somebody threw a tantrum and everyone was fighting when we began. It was the night we had to choose two books because the night before we had skipped reading to go and pick out a puppy.*
When we started it felt like we were fighters between rounds nursing our wounds in our separate corners waiting for the next round to start. With the magic of family dynamics, though, glares turned quickly to smiles and grumbling turned into giggling as Robert read The Nutcracker with silly voices and exotic accents. When I finished up with Let Me Hold You Longer we were all in tears again hugging and kissing each other goodnight.
Reading books together by candlelight: its a Good Thing. (but catching your hair on fire is a very, very bad thing, Stella!!!)

*Yes, we are getting a puppy! She is coming home tomorrow. Pictures coming soon.

On Christmas Gifts

I'm going to go on record as being in favor of giving gifts at Christmas time.

There, I said it.

I like it, dammit. I like giving gifts and I also like receiving them.

I like everything about gift giving:

• making a list of the people to whom I would like to give a gift
• thinking about those people and how much I love them and . . .
• . . . why I am so thankful for their influence and presence in my life
• crossing those names and gifts off my list as I count down the weeks and days to Christmas
• second guessing every single gift I buy or make "Does this item truly show this person that I was thinking about them, and that I love them, and appreciate them?"
• wrapping the gifts. My rule: a maximum of three pieces of tape per gift.
• talking to my sister about what I made or bought, laughing at some of the silly ideas I come up with for people
• going to the post office to ship my packages
• knowing that I expressed my appreciation and affection for my family during the holidays, because if I can't be bothered to do it during the Holiday Season, then I'm probably falling short during the rest of the year as well.

Examples of gifts that Robert and I have given our families in (leaner) years past:

• homemade pajama pants (made from repurposed sheets from the thrift store) that we finished at 3 in the morning on Christmas Eve
• a box of homemade caramels
• Nerf Guns: always a HUGE hit
• scrubs that we got from the hospital where Robert was doing rotations
• cardboard cutouts of photos of family members that we turned into magnets
• free tee shirts that we won in raffles and saved to give away as gifts (so what if they had the VISA logo on them? We were poor, but we still loved our family!)
• Speaking of poor, once we gave our kids a box full of paper airplanes for Christmas that we folded out of red and green and white paper. They LOVED it, they felt loved.
• freebies from drug reps
• coupon books
• movies
• prizes that we won in radio contests
• homemade stepping stones for the garden
• photographs
• homemade toys

Maybe our family members were secretly hoping that they wouldn't be burdened with one of our gifts, but with each gift our message was meant to be "I love you. I appreciate you. I hope your Christmas is Merry."

When Robert was in school, I tried not to wear my poverty on my sleeve, like a badge. Every day I knew that I was making a choice to live a certain type of lifestyle. As Dave Ramsey says, "I was living like no one else so that some day I could Live Like No One Else." For most of our marriage, our Christmas budget has been between $50 and $100 each year. That money was stretched to provide Christmas for each other, our kids, and our extended family. We have been blessed with a generous family (Sara and grandparents, in particular) who understood that we were sacrificing for the long term goal of graduating from Medical School, and eagerly filled in the gaps of our kids' Christmas mornings. One year, Creed had his heart set on receiving a Shell Shocker. He received one from his Aunt Sara and his heart is still full of gratitude for that gift six years later. So is mine.

Usually Robert and I have skipped giving each other anything more than a love letter or another small token of our undying love for each other. Once, Robert drew a picture of Jack for me and another time I knitted him a black beanie that was too small and ended up on Eddie's head.

Gifts are part of the magic of Christmas. I remember sitting at my grandma's house on Christmas when I was little and being handed a gift that was just for me. Me! Out of 40 or more cousins, someone had remembered me! Those gifts were never extravagant, but always thoughtful.

Giving gifts is one of my most treasured holiday traditions. I also make gingerbread houses, decorate a tree, sing carols, give service, gather together with loved ones, have a nativity, and eat good food. Gift giving shouldn't be the high point of one's celebration, but I firmly believe it needs to be a part of one's Christmas season. One can indulge in this tradition without getting caught up in the commercialism of the holiday. One can indulge in this tradition without breaking their bank. One can indulge in this tradition without being materialistic or selfish or greedy.

Besides, I'm not about to argue with a bunch of Wise Men from the East.

Not Meant for Human Consumption

Gingerbread Houses 2010

Number of houses made this year: 16, I think, not all by me. I made only one.

Number of Icing Batches: 20?

Number of broken pieces glued back together: at least 4 (one house ended up being supported with cardboard glued to the inside of it.)

Number of Kids underfoot: ZERO (we made them on a Friday night without kids. That was genius.)

Number of years in a row I've been involved in Gingerbread making: 28

Gingerbread Houses with Stained Glass Windows is the longest running tradition I have. Besides my tradition of General Laziness.

I have absolutely nothing at all going on this time of year. In fact, this is the time of year that I have a lot more Nothing to Do than usual, so I say to myself: Self! Build a gingerbread house. From scratch. With stained glass windows.

And I do it.