In Which I Cram an Entire Summer into One Post

How to Have the

Best Summer Ever

I recommend that you begin your summer with a ballet recital. Be sure that the ballerinas are devastatingly cute. Stella was a fairy in the ballet "Don Quixote," although if you ask her, she was in "Donkey Otee."

Find a local body of water and splash around with your brother.

Swing on a tire swing with your Bruncle.

Have a big July Fourth Bar-b-que and invite a lot of people. It's best if someone provides plenty of illegal fireworks (I do not, however, recommend that you launch said fireworks toward your neighbors' homes.) For added fun, bring a water balloon launcher (or two) and launch various things at each other. Don't forget the Roman Candle fights!

I think you should take your children swimming. Every day. My baby took his first steps at the pool.

Celebrate a decade of parenthood when your oldest turns ten.

Have a birthday party for the oldest. (Did I mention he turned ten this summer? TEN!) He had the easiest birthday party ever, and I heard several kids exclaim "This is the best birthday party I've ever been to!" We ordered pizza and watched "PeeWee's Big Adventure." Try it for your next birthday celebration and thank me later.

Invite your husband's friends over for his birthday party and giggle at the gifts they give him. I also giggled at the home-made party hats they wore.

Find a river and throw some rocks into it.

Discover the joy of green markers.

Our summer also included lots of popsicle eating and lots of book reading.

We saw one or two movies and we had butter on our popcorn.

Every now and then, we stayed in and had a movie night in the front room.

We ate home-made ice cream, homegrown tomatoes, and home-made jam.

We rode our bikes and we walked a few trails.

We laughed at ourselves and we laughed at each other.

We unplugged and we unwound.

All of these summer activities come highly recommended by Yours Truly. I do NOT, however, recommend that you end the perfect summer by sending your husband away for the entire month of August. If you are anything like me, you will get ridiculously lonely. Especially if you have a moment of insanity and allow him to take your baby with him.

I swear we don't eat this every night of the week

I'm almost too embarrassed to post this because it barely qualifies as cooking.  However, Ms. Amy asked for it, and what Ms. Amy wants, Ms. Amy gets.

How to Make Bar-B-Qued Meatballs with Mashed Potatoes

Step 1.  Put a bunch of frozen meatballs (the kind you get in the freezer section at Costco) into a saucepan.

Step 2.  Dump a bunch of you favorite bar-b-que sauce on them.

Step 3.  Cover and heat on low to medium heat until heated through.

In the meantime . . . 

Make mashed potatoes.  And here, if my mother was in a grave, she would be rolling over in it. My mother is not in a grave, but she does read this dribble and she is about to choke on her Diet Coke.  I used those potato flakey thingys.  Oh, yes I did.  And my kids loved them.

Serve the meatballs with the mashed potatoes and a green salad on the side.  Just let your kids put ranch on the salad, and they'll eat it.  At least mine do.  

Then again, my kids also eat those nasty bbq meatballs, too.

The Case of the Missing Milk

Last week I lost the milk.  

I came home from the Workout From Hell and opened the refrigerator to pound a glass of CowJuice (the best sports recovery drink ever) and it wasn't there.

It just . . . wasn't there.

I was sure that just the day before I had more than half a gallon left.

I was sure that the kids had not drunk the whole thing because we were out of Nestle Quik.  Also, there was not an empty plastic container to be found in the house.

It truly was a mystery.  

I shrugged my shoulders, hopped in the car, and went to the store to buy a new gallon.

Thirty three dollars and eighteen cents later, I returned with milk, lemons, six cans of tomatoes, four cans of black beans, bananas, graham crackers, butter, bread, and I don't remember what else.

The missing milk was like an itch I couldn't reach that day.  I thought about it as I splashed around at the pool with my children.

I thought about it as I filled my wretched/glorious mini-van with fuel.

I thought about it as I prepared bar-b-que meatballs and mashed potatoes (better tasting than they sound) with a garden salad for supper.

I thought about it as I sat in the Varsity Theater and watched Departures and I tried not to audibly cry through the whole thing.

The next day the missing milk was more like an aunt I should call more often.  I remembered it in fleeting moments, but wasn't obsessed with it like I was the day before.

After a few more days, I had all but forgotten about the mysterious disappearing milk.

Until I found it.

It was in this cupboard in that empty space on the top shelf.

And it wasn't milk anymore.

Hurry home darling, I'm lost without you.

Magic Mirror on the Wall

Am I the only one not feeling particularly bloggy?

My blog has become the neglected stepchild of my family.

Poor little blog.

Don't you fret.

Maybe I'll find some inspiration at the bottom of the laundry basket.

In the meantime, contemplate this:

Must I truly endure acne and wrinkles at the same time?

Why couldn't I outgrow the one before developing the other?

And while we are on the subject of me and my development, look at this!

I have been developing quite nicely.  No, I am NOT expecting to deliver a baby in a few months.  Not unless it's a baby made entirely of chocolate chip cookie dough, home-made ice cream, bar-b-que'd hamburgers, and toasted bagels dripping in butter.  That's all me, baby.  My center is soft and delicious, as explained to me by Reachel at Cardigan Empire.

Clearly, I'm enjoying my summer far too much. 

It's okay, though.  According to Robert, I'm still the fairest of them all.

P.S. You are all fired as my sense knocker into-ers.  My children, however, are quite good at knocking me with sense when I start talking crazy.  Just by being them.

Sending out an S.O.S.

Someone come and knock some sense into me.  I mean it.  Right now. 

 Lately I watch the four of them play and I ask myself, "Who am I to deprive my garden of ONE MORE ROSE?"

Dear Arugula

Oh, how I love thee.  Where have you been all my life?  I knew you were out there, but I thought you were just another green.  Like kale or bok choy.  Not so.  Why have I never bothered to give you a taste until now?  

* * * * 

I stood in her garden and she queried "have you ever tasted arugula?" and before I knew it she was handing me a green leaf and I was putting you in my mouth and chewing and . . . wow.  You are delightful with your sweet beginning and your heat at the end.  

I hereby invite you to every roast beef and swiss sandwich I eat from now until the end of my days.

* * * * 

How to enjoy arugula like I do:

Step 1:  Gently heat your cast iron skillet

Step 2:  Add a few slices of roast beef

Step 3: Place a slice of swiss cheese on the roast beef.  Don't stir it, just allow it to melt.

Step 4:  Toast two slices of bread (100% whole wheat, of course) and spread with a thin layer of mayo and mustard.  (The bread can be toasted on the cast iron.)

Step 4a:  You may add horseradish if you so choose.

Step 5:  Place the meat and cheese on one slice of bread and add thinly sliced onions, a thick slice of tomato and lots of ARUGULA.

Step 6:  Add the other slice of toasted bread and wash it down with a diet mt. dew.

For the love of the blog

Robert requested a blog update today.  Hi honey!

I'm not going to lie to you: I was dreading the start of summer. All four (five) kids home all day long was not sounding like my idea of a good time. They had been fighting like . . . well . . . like siblings more and more the last few weeks before school let out. I was plotting and scheming my way through the weeks until August 20 showed her lovely face.

But you know what?

As the days come and go, I have come to a highly enlightening conclusion: my kids are actually kind of cool!  No, "kind of cool" does not do them justice.   They are creative and hilarious and witty and insightful and thoughtful and adventurous and talented and kind and so funny I almost pee my pants every day. They are the kind of people I want to have as friends. I absolutely can NOT get enough of them.

I know I have thrown the blog under the bus these last few days . . . I mean weeks.  I know I have been neglectful to my own blog and a very unfaithful reader of yours. (Shannon! You got a dog?! I feel like Debra Messing in the episode of Will and Grace when they were in a little fight and hadn't seen each other in awhile and then they finally do see each other and Grace offers Will a hunk of cheese and he has given up cheese and she's shocked and she chastises him by telling him "Ya gotta call me if you're goin' off cheese!" I mean, Ya gotta CALL ME if you're gettin' a DOG!)

The long and short of it is that I'm having way too much fun right now to blog about all the fun I'm having.

But, around here, when your husband starts to notice and comment about your lack of presence in the blogosphere, it's time to leave a little note.

1. Are you watching the Bachelorette?  I am.  Do you have any thoughts?
   
2. I'm quite blonde right now and I finally found that special someone in this town.  You know what I mean, someone who is allowed to come near my head with a pair of scissors more than once.
   
3. I have gained twenty pounds in the last 5 months.  I've never done that before.  I like trying new things, but I didn't like this.  I'm not going to try it again.
   
4. Last week I went camping with a bunch of 12-18 year old girls from church.  It was Dang-Fetch fun.
   
5. Jack wants to try tackle football in the fall.  All I can say is yikes.
   
6. Every single night I have to remove books from sleeping boys' chests and turn off lamps.  Boys after my own heart, I tell ya.
   
7. Stella said to my friend recently "Well, my dad's okay.  But my mom? (and here she opened her arms and threw her head back) My mom is MY WHOLE WORLD."
   
8. Robert's father's day card from his little girl said "You look Great!"
   
9. Ohmygosh, that's right, we've had ballet recitals, baseball, graduations, family in town, weekend visits to close cities, painting the house, finally decorating a few spots in the house and I don't know what else going on around here since the last time I logged on.  Oh!  Planting the garden, how could I forget that?  I planted zinnias in the front flower bed this year and I LOVE them.  The veggies are thriving (no tomato rot!  Hooray.)
   
10. I can't figure out how to make the bullets on my list show up as numbers on my blog.  As I type, they are numbers, but then when I publish, they are silly flowers.  Ugh.

Regular blogging may or may not commence shortly.  I'm tempted to just start posting my favorite recipes.  You know, the ones that have helped me gain 20 pounds.