Guess Who's Coming to Play

The next two weeks are going to be full of all kinds of fun.

We may spend a few days in our pajamas.

There will be lots of cooking and baking and eating.

We will exchange the latest recipes we have discovered and try some new ones.

My kids will overwhelm her with requests to: listen to my song, or come see my room, or play a game with me, or read a book to me.

I might try to talk her into helping me paint my hallway (she won't want to do it), I will try to get her to help me finish this other thing I'm working on.

She will most likely help me fold some laundry.

There will be gossip, not the malicious kind, the informative kind.

I predict an encore of our Les Mis sing along.

She won't love the dog, but she'll tolerate her. Sara hates dogs.

I will spend ample energy and time hugging and kissing and smooshing her little boy . . . all that blonde fluff . . .

We will dream of the day that we live just down the road from each other.

We will watch movies and stay up (not too) late.

When she leaves, I will feel refreshed, loved, full.

The First Two Weeks

We waited until the right time to add a furry friend to our family. I don't have any little babies and three of the four kids are old enough to help significantly with the various tasks of taking her outside, feeding her, refreshing her water and whatever else might come up.

Creed cleans up the mess she makes in the backyard with a smile.

She snuggles with Stella on the floor.

She likes to get a head start on projects, like taking down the Christmas tree.

She gets everyone outside and playing together for hours at a time in the middle of winter.

We love Ginger.

2010: A List

The Highs:

• After years and years and years of sacrifice, Robert finished his Residency and took a job here in Des Moines.
• We have amazing local friends who recognized the significance of the above event and the fact that we might be feeling lonely with no family around with whom to celebrate and surprised us with a steak dinner. Having friends that celebrate your triumphs is a true blessing.
• Jack is now old enough to be left in charge for short periods of time.
• Robert and I dated each other more this year than we have in a long, long time.
• Hot Chocolate for Haiti was a huge success. The kids raised over $200 from generous friends, neighbors, and church members (including the Mons kids' piggy bank) and donated it to the Red Cross. They had their picture in the Red Cross Newsletter and were hailed local heroes. I don't know any other kids who devise and execute plans like that. They teach me so much every day.
• The boys are doing their own laundry which means that instead of announcing to me that they have no clean socks, they blame each other when their socks run low. That's okay with me, because guess what! I don't have to do their laundry anymore.
• Everyone is participating more in all household duties, so I (mostly) don't feel so overwhelmed.
• Stella began taking piano lessons, Creed continues to study piano, and Jack started taking guitar lessons. They all performed in our Christmas Eve talent show. Creed's talent wasn't actually musical. His talent was "Beating My Crocodile Senseless."
• Jack and Creed both continue to be active in Scouts. Jack earned his Arrow of Light and Crossed Over from Cub Scouts into Boy Scouts. His Scoutmaster is an inspiration. Creed is a Bear Scout for another two months.
• Stella is still a little ballerina. Her life motto seems to be "Why walk when you can dance?"
• My mom married a wonderful man with an incredible family. He flew us all to Seattle so that we could participate in the celebrations.
• I gave my first Wedding Toast.
• We got a Dog!
• My brother, Elder Scott Wait completed his mission and came to spend a few days with us.
• Many of our Iowa friendships were fortified with lots of fun time together.
• Our family relationships were fortified with lots of time together.
• Our front room was only one color during 2010 . . . and . . . I don't anticipate changing it during 2011.
• We are honored to have a close family member serving in the military in the Middle East.

The Lows:

• Lolo was diagnosed withr Cancer (but he keeps defying the odds!)
• Great Grandma Rose passed away. I need to write about her, she was an amazing woman.
• I consumed significantly more calories than I burned this year.
• Although we travelled over 30,000 miles all over the country from one coast to the other, we spent zero time on any beach anywhere.
• I still haven't met any of my dad's wife's kids.
• Eddie moved away.
• Our hamster, Guilty Spark, died. We held an intimate memorial service in the backyard.
• We all had moments of loneliness or hurt feelings at one time or another this year, and we tended to blame it on the fact that we live in Iowa instead of Utah. Lame and unfair, I know.
• Although we took many trips to Utah in 2010, we didn't get to spend much time with friends. I miss everyone so much.
• We read fewer books together as a family this year than we have in any previous year.
• We have a close family member deployed in the Middle East away from his wife and child.

The In-Betweens:

• We have cell phones.
• We are keeping cleaner bedrooms.
• We started repaying student loans.
• We installed hardwood floors.

Advent(ures) By Candlelight

On any given night this December, it would have been easy to catch our family gathered around open flames and reading Christmas themed books.

I had the bright idea that we should wrap all of our Christmas books in festive wrapping and give the honor of selecting which one to open and read by candlelight to a different child every night.
We have coupled our literary adventures with hot cocoa and when it's too hot to handle, we sip it through a straw.
One night, somebody threw a tantrum and everyone was fighting when we began. It was the night we had to choose two books because the night before we had skipped reading to go and pick out a puppy.*
When we started it felt like we were fighters between rounds nursing our wounds in our separate corners waiting for the next round to start. With the magic of family dynamics, though, glares turned quickly to smiles and grumbling turned into giggling as Robert read The Nutcracker with silly voices and exotic accents. When I finished up with Let Me Hold You Longer we were all in tears again hugging and kissing each other goodnight.
Reading books together by candlelight: its a Good Thing. (but catching your hair on fire is a very, very bad thing, Stella!!!)

*Yes, we are getting a puppy! She is coming home tomorrow. Pictures coming soon.

On Christmas Gifts

I'm going to go on record as being in favor of giving gifts at Christmas time.

There, I said it.

I like it, dammit. I like giving gifts and I also like receiving them.

I like everything about gift giving:

• making a list of the people to whom I would like to give a gift
• thinking about those people and how much I love them and . . .
• . . . why I am so thankful for their influence and presence in my life
• crossing those names and gifts off my list as I count down the weeks and days to Christmas
• second guessing every single gift I buy or make "Does this item truly show this person that I was thinking about them, and that I love them, and appreciate them?"
• wrapping the gifts. My rule: a maximum of three pieces of tape per gift.
• talking to my sister about what I made or bought, laughing at some of the silly ideas I come up with for people
• going to the post office to ship my packages
• knowing that I expressed my appreciation and affection for my family during the holidays, because if I can't be bothered to do it during the Holiday Season, then I'm probably falling short during the rest of the year as well.

Examples of gifts that Robert and I have given our families in (leaner) years past:

• homemade pajama pants (made from repurposed sheets from the thrift store) that we finished at 3 in the morning on Christmas Eve
• a box of homemade caramels
• Nerf Guns: always a HUGE hit
• scrubs that we got from the hospital where Robert was doing rotations
• cardboard cutouts of photos of family members that we turned into magnets
• free tee shirts that we won in raffles and saved to give away as gifts (so what if they had the VISA logo on them? We were poor, but we still loved our family!)
• Speaking of poor, once we gave our kids a box full of paper airplanes for Christmas that we folded out of red and green and white paper. They LOVED it, they felt loved.
• freebies from drug reps
• coupon books
• movies
• prizes that we won in radio contests
• homemade stepping stones for the garden
• photographs
• homemade toys

Maybe our family members were secretly hoping that they wouldn't be burdened with one of our gifts, but with each gift our message was meant to be "I love you. I appreciate you. I hope your Christmas is Merry."

When Robert was in school, I tried not to wear my poverty on my sleeve, like a badge. Every day I knew that I was making a choice to live a certain type of lifestyle. As Dave Ramsey says, "I was living like no one else so that some day I could Live Like No One Else." For most of our marriage, our Christmas budget has been between $50 and $100 each year. That money was stretched to provide Christmas for each other, our kids, and our extended family. We have been blessed with a generous family (Sara and grandparents, in particular) who understood that we were sacrificing for the long term goal of graduating from Medical School, and eagerly filled in the gaps of our kids' Christmas mornings. One year, Creed had his heart set on receiving a Shell Shocker. He received one from his Aunt Sara and his heart is still full of gratitude for that gift six years later. So is mine.

Usually Robert and I have skipped giving each other anything more than a love letter or another small token of our undying love for each other. Once, Robert drew a picture of Jack for me and another time I knitted him a black beanie that was too small and ended up on Eddie's head.

Gifts are part of the magic of Christmas. I remember sitting at my grandma's house on Christmas when I was little and being handed a gift that was just for me. Me! Out of 40 or more cousins, someone had remembered me! Those gifts were never extravagant, but always thoughtful.

Giving gifts is one of my most treasured holiday traditions. I also make gingerbread houses, decorate a tree, sing carols, give service, gather together with loved ones, have a nativity, and eat good food. Gift giving shouldn't be the high point of one's celebration, but I firmly believe it needs to be a part of one's Christmas season. One can indulge in this tradition without getting caught up in the commercialism of the holiday. One can indulge in this tradition without breaking their bank. One can indulge in this tradition without being materialistic or selfish or greedy.

Besides, I'm not about to argue with a bunch of Wise Men from the East.

Not Meant for Human Consumption

Gingerbread Houses 2010

Number of houses made this year: 16, I think, not all by me. I made only one.

Number of Icing Batches: 20?

Number of broken pieces glued back together: at least 4 (one house ended up being supported with cardboard glued to the inside of it.)

Number of Kids underfoot: ZERO (we made them on a Friday night without kids. That was genius.)

Number of years in a row I've been involved in Gingerbread making: 28

Gingerbread Houses with Stained Glass Windows is the longest running tradition I have. Besides my tradition of General Laziness.

I have absolutely nothing at all going on this time of year. In fact, this is the time of year that I have a lot more Nothing to Do than usual, so I say to myself: Self! Build a gingerbread house. From scratch. With stained glass windows.

And I do it.

Do You Hear the People Sing?

Sunday afternoon karaoke with my sister is pure joy. This video is from two weeks ago. Note that we are sharing a snuggie and singing into roses made out of duct tape.

And this afternoon I discovered Broadway aficionados in a couple of my other friends. We sang every word on the first disc of my Les Mis album plus "A Little Fall of Rain" and the finale on the second. Levi and Amanda know every word, hit every note, and don't miss a single cue. Robert and Jackie took some help from the printed lyrics. (I confess it has been awhile since I sat down with the booklet and sang along with Valjean, Cosette, and the others, so I had to peek over their shoulders now and again.)

Then we moved on to selections from RENT and ended with the Hallelujah Chorus from Handel's Messiah.

Robert must be curious about the storyline between Javert and Valjean, because he is now watching Hollywood's version of Les Miserables starring Geoffrey Rush and Liam Neeson.