I'm glad I've never had to go to court as a defendant or as a witness.
When I first arrived for Jury Duty, I was hoping that I would not be selected.
As the day wore on, however, I started to feel a swell of pride for my country and our judicial system, and the part that I, an average jane, get to play.
(I'm easily brainwashed. Someday I'll tell you about the time a giant salesman convinced me I needed to spend $5,000.00 on a water softener. It cures kidney stones! It solves acne problems! It makes your hair silky and smooth! With the money you save on soap, it practically pays for itself! Or I could tell you about the time a tiny salesman convinced me I needed a $1,000.00 knife set. They cut through steel! Then they slice paper thin discs of tomato! They never need sharpening! You can use the kitchen shears on anything from paper, to aluminum, to garden stems, to chicken bones! They are actually cheaper than a Henkels knife set! Have you got some swamp property in Florida you'd like to sell me? Show me where to sign.)
Let's just say I am intimately familiar with the three day grace period on all credit card purchases.
Where was I? Oh, yes, Jury Duty.
As I looked around at my fellow jurors, I realized that we were quite the cross section of the population of my county.
Retirees, young mothers, not-so-young mothers (ahem), students, young professionals, grandparents, laborers.
Want to know what middle America looks like? Walk into a courthouse and take a look at the juries that are sitting on cases.
That's us.
I can't talk about the case.
It's ongoing.
Don't even ask.
The verdict on the roasted pigs we served on our wedding day: GUILTY of being delicious
The verdict on dressing the pigs as a bride and groom: GUILTY of being totally awesome
The verdict on the lattice I chose to disguise our church gym as something else: NOT GUILTY of being even remotely tasteful
The verdict on the bride and groom themselves: GUILTY of being skinnier back then, and madly in love today
Now I have to go to bed. I have court in the morning.
And that's no bull.
8 comments:
Good Post.
Oh, Liz. You are so funny! You are so skinny in that photo, but from what Robyn told me, sounds like you're looking pretty good now, too!
And roasted pigs at your wedding . . . that had to have been the beginning of your sojourn to Iowa. Bet you had no idea!
MMMMmmmmm...... Pig.
Sara: I'm just trying to defend my title as Blog Princess.
Laura: Robyn is generous in her descriptions/support of me. And you're right about the pigs/iowa, I never thought of that!
Mmmm, roasted pig. Maybe it's because I'm on the wagon and depriving myself of all things that come from pigs, but DAMN! those look good.
So do you, by the way. Then AND now.
Have fun on jury duty. Are you manipulating it ala The Runaway Jury?
Jury duty, eh?
I am assuming that since they chose you you must not have made a weird fool of yourself when the attorney was asking you questions. Way to behave.
Your wedding was GUILTY of being really fun. I had a great time sitting at your book with Lil' Art Boy.
Another entertaining and enlightening post.
And you are not alone. I have purchased the Thunderstick Pro (it makes whip cream out of milk!), Rapid White (it makes your teeth 5 shades whiter!), and have drank (drunk?) my fair share of Slim Fast (Give us a week, we"ll take off the weight!).
Love ya.
I was there what a great wedding. I believe there was a coke dispenser somewhere on the premises also. Hurray for memories.
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