Stuff I KNOW You've been Dying to Know

Creed on his first day of school: “There are tons and tons and Tons and TONS of rules!”

Jack on his first day of school: “There’s a kid in my class who has to wear a helmut during recess and his mom walks him to school on a leash.” Seems like a good idea to me.

Today, after Creed’s second day of school: “Jack’s teacher looks like my teacher. They look like Grandma Julie.” (both skinny, both blondes, go figure)

Their school is peanut free. This is kind of annoying for me. I use enough of my creative energy on my face to face time with the little rugrats. (By providing them with glitter and glue, paint, markers, colored rice, different baking crap, I mean crafts, string, sticks, straws, not to mention all of the creative ways in which I am forced to think of to say “no” over and over.) Now I have to get creative with their lunches, too? I guess don’t want some kid to go into anaphylactic shock because I was too lazy to think of some new source of protein in my kids’ lunch, but peanut butter sandwiches are so easy, and cheap, and easy. The only alternative, affordable sources of protein I can think of are tuna fish and hard boiled eggs. But when I picture them opening their lunches at the table, I imagine the other kids making a beeline from the lunchroom and their teachers fainting when they lean in to answer one of the little angels’ questions after lunch. Any suggestions? (I guess I could stick a mint in the bag.)

Also, the check engine light is on in our car.

And they still hugged me goodbye . . .

School doesn’t start until 8:55 here. If perfection is any better than that, I can’t imagine it. My hair was actually combed and I applied some mascara before we had to leave. Stella took a bath (first one in three days, so gross) and we all ate breakfast together (minus dad, who leaves for work around 5:30). All in all a lovely morning.

Their school isn’t like anything I’ve seen before. The classrooms for each grade open up to a central “living room” in which the different classes actually interact with each other. Walls can be moved and arranged at will. I’m excited to see how the teachers utilize this feature.

In the foyer of the school, we split: the third grade hall is in one direction, the first grade hall in another. Jack assured me he could find his classroom (we had been to the school earlier in the week to meet their teachers and orient ourselves) and so off he went.

But not before giving his ol’ mama a hug. I hope he never outgrows it. I know I never will.

When in Rome . . .

The invasion started weeks before its actual arrival. Billboards and radio ads announced the dates throughout the city. Barnes & Noble had tables of books on display dedicated to the event. Snippets of conversation overheard among the mallrats included discussion centered on what rides to which they were most looking forward and whether or not the new “apple fries” would live up to their hype.

That’s right, folks, I’m talkin’ about the Iowa State Fair.

I’m telling you, for a week and a half the State Fair was all anyone around here was talking about. We Iowans take our State Fair very seriously. The Fair is in the middle of August in 90+ degree weather and 90-98% humidity. Yet, the waiting list for a campground at the State Fair: 10 years.

I learned that we painstakingly map out our route through the fairgrounds days in advance. Since I am a newcomer, my neighbor went out of her way to pay a visit to the house and show me which were the exhibits I could skip and which were Must See. Not to miss: Iowa Pork Producers’ Pork Chop on a Stick, the Hyvee Children’s Garden, Babies on the Farm exhibit, the Tunnel of Love (that’s right people, we have an actual Tunnel of Love), the Honeybee exhibit, and the Grand Champion Cow, Pig, and Lamb.

Truthfully, we had a great time.

Questions Frequently Asked by Others

Isn't it sweet how much he loves being kissed by his mama?

Q: How’s the new house?

A: Always messy, just like the old one. Except for this past weekend when we were entertaining 13 guests. While our cousins were here the house was cleaner than it has ever been. We have all been inspired and are more committed to picking up after ourselves.

Q: How long was the drive?

A: It takes us about 14 hours, but Bob’s brother managed to make it into a 20 hour trip. It must depend on the number of travelers in your vehicle and how many stops you have to make.

Q: How does Bob like his job?

A: He loves it! (As he bloody well better after 10 years of school. Hehe)

Q: How are the kids?

A: Better friends today than they were before we moved. I guess they figured if they are stuck being each other’s only friends for awhile, they had better learn to get along.

Q: Have you read Harry Potter yet?

A: Of course, who would have guessed that Lord Voldemort was Harry’s father?

Q: Do you miss us?

A: YES WE MISS YOU! So please come and visit us soon. Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on top?