Reconsidering

I was a much better mother before I became one.  I knew exactly how I was going to raise my children to be happy, honest, hard-working, compassionate citizens of their worlds.  I could (secretly) see what the mothers around me were doing wrong and take note so that I would not do these things when my time came.

This method worked well for a number of years.  Even, a little bit, after I actually became a mother.

For example, when McKayla (1 1/2 years old) was hitting my three year old son on the head with a shovel, it wasn't that big of a deal to me.  He didn't seem to notice that every once in awhile as they sat in the sand together, his little friend was was whacking him in the head.  I thought "why should I make this a bigger deal to me than it is to him?"  So I watched.  Soon, her mother,

 who was heavy with child, started yelling at her.  From across the playground.  When McKayla didn't respond, she marched up to her daughter, grabbed the shovel, and proceeded to hit her on the head with it all the while saying "There!  How to do you like it?  It's not fun being hit on the head with a shovel, is it?"  Meanwhile, Jack finally started paying attention and was captivated by the sight of his friend's pregnant mother whacking McKayla in the head.  I wisely filed the scene away and I have never hit my child on the head with a shovel.

My experience in Student Family Housing is a gold mine of parenting pearls.  

Recently, however, we have evolved (devolved?) into a band of ragamuffins.  My daughter has had public meltdowns that would put Britney Spears to shame.  My son cannot sit still in church and has actually been in fistfights with his siblings as we entered the chapel.  I hand my baby off to whoever is closest so that I can put out the (figurative, for now) fires that are igniting among his older siblings.  Some days it's all I can do to keep it together until 7:00 so I can send them all to bed with a sigh of relief.

Last week I took them to the Art Center because this is on display.   You would have thought I had taken them to participate in a UFC Fight at Chuck-E-Cheese.  It was a nightmare.  Not to mention the uncontrolled giggling and peeking between two fingers at the huge painting of three Naked Ladies that was on display as we exited the elevator on the third floor.  It was a good thing I didn't have a shovel with me.

(First I tried to take them on a Monday, but it was closed.  We returned on Thursday.)

I now have a new parenting plan.  From now on, or at least until Robert is done with his I.C.U. rotation, we are not leaving the house.   Our days will consist of sitting around and scratching ourselves.  I am digging out my stretchy pants and my favorite books and hiding under my covers.  I plan to throw baloney and raisins at them when they complain that they're hungry.  Please send Diet Coke.

When I started typing today, I was going to let you all know that I have changed my mind about cereal.  For years I have only stocked Cheerios, Mini Wheats, and Wheaties.  Lately I've wondered "why?"  Why can't we have Froot Loops, Lucky Charms, and Reese's Puffs?  They are all fortified with vitamins and minerals, and some are even made with whole grains.  My kids aren't in danger of obesity-so I'm switching.  Because the answer to over-active kids is clearly, bowls full of sugar.

Obligatory photo of the babe.