I’m not fond of touching other people’s feet. I find feet to be, well, gross. I don’t think they are as gross as some people do. (When my sister was a girl, she was so disgusted by her own feet that she wouldn’t even touch them to wash them. Click here to read all about her stinky feet.)
Robert usually has to ask 9 or 10 times after a 60 hour shift on his feet at the hospital before I will actually go near those particular appendages. Honestly, now that I think of it, I can’t even remember the last time he bothered asking. Yes, I am that selfish.
When I first became a mother, it was a different story. I found that I like baby feet. I have been known to voluntarily put them in my mouth and nibble on the toes. I mush them all over my face, put them in my eyes, my ears, my cheeks. I blow raspberries on them. Baby feet are very cute. However, something happened the summer my boys reached 5 or 6 years old. When they started smelling like wet dog at the end of the day, their feet began to repulse me. Ugh, and they get this long, gross, big toenail that is downright disgusting and should have its own time zone. (Shut up, I know it’s my responsibility to teach them proper grooming. But, sick! Can’t they tell it needs to be trimmed? Do I really need to tell them everything?)
Imagine my surprise when I had this conversation with my 9 year old tonight.
Him: (after a fit of coughing.) Boy, that medicine Liz gave me doesn’t seem to be working.
Me: (perking up at the news that my friend/neighbor down the street had administered medicine to my son) Liz gave you medicine?
Him: Yeah. To help me stop coughing.
Me: Really? What was it?
Him: I don’t know. Something she put on my feet.
Me: (Thinking I couldn’t have heard right) On your feet? For your cough?
Him: Yeah. She said her grandpa used to use it.
Me: (clarifying) She put something on your feet. To make you stop coughing.
Him: (getting exasperated) Yes!
Me: How did she put it on?
Him: She just rubbed it on.
Me: You mean, it was some kind of cream? And she rubbed it on your feet? That is gross.
Him: Well, whatever it was, it’s not working.
I think he knew that this kooky stuff was not going to work, but was not about to pass up a free foot rub from his friend’s cute mom.
Now, where is my husband? I need him to administer some cough medicine.
