Sometimes, in the middle of a really bad day, I feel like I am outside of myself watching someone else mother my children.
It was not me going nuts because, once again, every single horizontal surface in the house is covered in everyone’s crap. An empty table is not an invitation to your crap to throw a party for itself and everyone else’s crap.
It was not me demanding asking my oldest son to make lunch because I was feeding the baby. Again.
It was not me being irritated with my seven year old because all he wanted was to sit Right. Next. To. Me. while I nursed the baby. Again.
Then, when the three year old started crawling on me from the other side, it wasn’t me who elbowed her off and said through gritted teeth “STOP MESSING WITH THE BABY WHILE HE’S EATING!”
It wasn’t me, locking myself in the bathroom to cry, after stepping in dog puke. Twice. On my carpet. In bare feet.
I wasn’t that grown woman throwing a tantrum because the brand new pacifier was lost and the baby was crying and dinner wasn’t made and I smell like rotten milk and the floor needs to be vacuumed and the baby was crying and I can’t find the pacifier and the dog is sleeping in the clean laundry and the dog found and ate another used nursing pad and I wouldn’t mind if he would just consume the whole thing, but he leaves little bits and pieces around for me to find and there’s clutter everywhere and the awning over the front porch is leaking and my tomato plants are infected with some sort of fungus and where is that stupid pacifier? and did I brush my teeth today? and what IS that smell?
sigh
nope. that wasn’t me.
I don’t know who that was, but I think she’s gone.
It amazes me that at the end of a day like today, they still climb all over each other to sit next to me during scripture study, they want to kiss and snuggle me and whisper in my ear “you’re the best mom” and the only thing that Creed has to say to his dad about his day is that he is the one who found the pacifier and it “made mom really really REALLY happy.”
Thank goodness he found that {insert explicative) pacifier.
