Scene: Creed and I are outside exploring our new yard. He has gathered specimens of foliage from the trees and bushes growing in our fertile soil. He picks through them, selects several of varying sizes and shapes, and promptly places them in his mouth, chews them up, and swallows them.
Me: (through the giggling) Ew! Yuck! Why did you do that? We have plenty of snacks in the house!
Him: (deadpan) What? I’m part snail.
1. On the shelf where I usually leave them
2. In my purse
3. In the pocket of the pants I was wearing when I had them last
4. In the bags I carried in when I returned home from the last place I had driven. (Swimming in the local river with the kids, FYI)
5. On the counter next to the bags I carried in when I returned home from the last place I had driven
6. Under, around, or anywhere near the bags I carried in when I returned home from the last place I had driven
7. Next to Stella, who I had put down for a nap after a fun morning of swimming in the local river
8. On, in, or around the toilet or the bathroom sink
9. Next to the sandwich making supplies
10. By the washer and dryer
11. Mixed in with the towels we used at the river
12. Folded in with any of the clean laundry I did later that afternoon
13. The freezer
14. The refrigerator
15. The microwave
16. The silverware drawer
17. Under the couches
18. Under the couch cushions
19. In the casserole we had for dinner
20. In the garbage
21. In the ignition
22. On the garage floor
23. In my make-up bag
24. Inside any shoe in the entire house
25. The fireplace